Today's Stupid Prediction Tricks*

 (*Like David Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks, only stupider)

The Blob has never been good at the crystal ball thing. As a seer, I almost always wind up getting seared.

Like, one time I picked Marco Andretti to win the Indianapolis 500, which was really dumb because everyone knows Indy treats the Andrettis the way a kitten treats a ball of yarn. I've actually picked Purdue to make the Final Four a few times, for the love of (Boilermaker) Pete. Numerous other examples of fluff-brained prognosticating exist.

This does not discourage me, however. Like Charlie Brown and the football, I remain unfazed by past experience. And so here are a couple of predictions I'll make about the near future:

* The Colts and the Chiefs will engage in a bitter struggle today.

Look, I get it. The Colts are the Colts. The Chiefs are the Chiefs. Patrick Mahomes is gonna carve up the Horsies like Dr. Mallard conducting an autopsy on "NCIS."

But the Blob believes professional pride still exists, and it further believes it can be a powerful weapon. After that sidewalk splat in Jacksonville last week, the Colts have been hearing from everyone (including me) how pathetic they are. How they're a bunch of losers with a vaudeville act for a coach and GM. How their offensive line is worthless, their receivers are worthless, and how their quarterback, Matt Ryan, should be in assisted living somewhere, watching Turner Classic Movies and waiting for his afternoon fruit cup.

Now, I'm not in the Colts locker room. But I would think hearing all that for a solid week might make them a little snarly. So I'm guessing they're gonna come out chippy as hell today. And I'm guessing, when it's all said and done, the Chiefs are going to feel damn lucky to get out of Indy alive.

* Notre Dame is not going to suck as bad as we thought.

I say this because the Irish went down to North Carolina yesterday, and they came back with both a W and an identity. The W was by a 45-32 score. The identity was Keep It Simple, Stupid, And Hit Somebody In The Mouth.

This first volume in the Marcus Freeman collection is never going to dazzle you, but what can do is ground and pound you. Freeman's got a three-headed monster at running back (Chris Tyree, Audric Estime and Logan Diggs), a terrific tight end (Michael Mayer), and a quarterback (Drew Pyne) who will never make you forget Joe Montana or Terry Hanratty, but who can throw it a little. 

So they're gonna run the football, and Pyne will do enough to keep defenses honest. Could work.

It did yesterday, at least. Estime rumbled for 134 yards and two scores in 17 carries. Tyree added 80 yards and a six in 15 carries. And Diggs lugged it 10 times for 50 yards.

That's 42 carries and 264 yards among the three of them, which works out to 6.2 yards per attempt. In between, Pyne threw for 289 yards and three touchdowns, and Mayer caught seven balls for 88 yards and one of those scores.

This does not mean Notre Dame is going to haul off and win the rest of its games. The Blob is not that much in the Domer tank.

But it does suggest the Irish will win most of them. And if you think that will be underachieving for this particular edition, you really are in the Domer tank.

* Oh, yeah. And Aaron Judge will hit No. 61 today.

I don't know why I think this. I just do. Call it a hunch.

Of course, I'm no good at those, either.