A few brief thoughts about NFL Week 2

 And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the unrelenting Blob feature of which critics have said "Relent, for God's sake! Relent!", and also "Yes! Think of the children!":

1. "I'm glad my children weren't here to see this!" (Browns fan, after watching the Browns Browns it up in an especially Browns-y way, blowing a two-touchdown lead to the Jets, at home, in the last 1:22, to lose 31-30)

2. "Maybe my children will see the Bears beat the Packers!" (Bears fan, after the Bears lost to the Packers because of course they did, only this time on Sunday Night Football because for some reason the league and network suits still think this is an historic rivalry)

3. "Your children? How 'bout your GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" (Aaron Rodgers, who's now 125-0 or something against the Bears)

4. Meanwhile, in New York, the city came to a standstill to marvel at the Jets and Giants both winning on the same day since Jimmy Walker was Hizzoner and Lucky Luciano was ventilatin' wise guys who got too wise for their own good.

5. OK, so it's only been since Nov. 28 of last year. And the city didn't come to a standstill  Sunday, unless it was to marvel at Aaron Judge hitting his 58th and 59th home runs.

6. "Fifteen yards for illegal use of facts!" (Some annoying NFL zebra)

7. "Yeah, maybe the NFL won't do anything about Daniel Snyder, but watch THIS." (God, turning the Lions into Lions, then watching them shred Snyder's Washington Commanders with their ferocious teeth and claws)

8. "Now watch THIS!" (God, again, turning Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa's arm into a flaming sword of righteousness that smites the Baltimore Ravens with six touchdown passes, including four in the fourth quarter of a come-from-behind 42-38 win)

9. "How did I get so damn old?!" (Tom Brady, 68, angrily throwing a tablet on the sideline as he struggled early against the goldang Saints)

10. "Dammit! No, I'm not your Grandpa, you sonofabitch! And I'm not due back at assisted living for tapioca time!" (Brady, 82, angrily starting a brawl by going after the Saints' Marshon Lattimore, presumably because Lattimore made a crack about Brady's age)