Queen to queen's level WTH

 And now, because the Blob is a full-service Blob, some news from the world of chess, which sounds boring but is in fact weird in a way chess hasn't been since the late Bobby Fischer and his demons were ganging up on Boris Spassky.

"Wow, that's some sentence, Mr. Blob," you're saying now.

Thank you.

"It wasn't a compliment," you're saying.

Well ... but wait 'til you've heard the latest.

The latest happened September 19 in the Julius Baer Generation Cup, when world champion Magnus Carlsen abruptly got up and walked away after just one move against 19-year-old American Hans Niemann. Vanished, Carlsen did. Took a powder. Am-scrayed.

Everyone was left slack-jawed by this Fischer-level bizarreness from Carlsen, and Carlsen never really explained himself. But chess insiders speculated he did it to call attention to the cheating allegations that have followed Niemann since he beat Carlsen in a match on Sept. 4.

This broke Carlsen's 53-game winning streak, and raised more than a few red flags because Niemann was a virtual nobody in the world of top-level chess. Niemann's explanation was that he made a lucky guess about what opening Carlsen would use.

But now for the weird part, to once more paraphrase Seth Maxwell in "North Dallas Forty".

A Reddit post suggested Niemann might have been cheating with (and there's no other way to say this) a vibrating anal probe. Lots of people have discounted this, but the Blob won't, because it's much too deliciously freaky. I mean, can you imagine? Shoving some sort of, um, mechanism up your kazoo to win a chess match?

Bzzzt! Queen to queen's level two, Hans-o-nator!

Yikes. Queen to queen's level WTH is more like it.

"You know, Mr. Blob, it's possible Niemann might not be cheating," you're saying now. "It’s possible Carlsen might just be a sore loser."

Oh, please. What fun would that be?