Instant reaction choices for today*

(*Indianapolis Colts division)

Thaaat's right, folks, in its continuing mission to serve the public, the Blob this morning unveils a new concept: NFL Instant Reaction Vending. Insert coins/bills, pick the reaction that sounds good to you, and it will immediately get stuck between the glass and the dispenser and refuse to fall, thereby stealing your money in traditional vending-machine style.

This morning, the subject is the Indianapolis Colts 20-20 season-opening tie with the Houston Texans. Let's go!

Selection A1: "Hey, at least we didn't lose a season opener for the first time in a decade!" 

Selection A2: "Crap, we still haven't won a season opener in a decade!"

Selection B1: "Wait, I thought Matt Ryan WASN'T gonna be Carson Wentz 2.0." (After Ryan threw a pick and lost a fumble to help the Colts get down 20-3)

Selection B2: "OK, so maybe he WON'T be Carson Wentz 2.0." (After Ryan led the Colts to three scores in the fourth quarter to salvage the tie)

Selection C1: "Remember when we had a kicker who didn't miss 42-yard field goals for the W?"

Selection C2: "I think his name was Adam something."

Selection D1: "Jonathan Taylor did Jonathan Taylor things, Michael Pittman caught nine balls for 121 yards and a score, and eight players had at least two catches as Ryan spread the ball around. Maybe we're not gonna suck again!"

Selection D2:  "Geez. We couldn't beat a team we outscored 62-3 and beat twice last year with Carson Wentz. We're gonna suck again."

Selection E1: "Hey, but at least we get Jacksonville next week. Jacksonville never beats us, right?"

Selection E2: "Oh, yeah. Right."

Selection E3: "We're gonna suck again."