Horseshoe blues

 As pathetic as that was today ... the distance is not that far.

-- Frank Reich

And so now an exercise in rhetoric, involving longitude and latitude and other measurements of how far "far" is.

To wit: When Frank Reich says the distance is not that far for his 2-year-old's rendering of a football team, what does he mean, exactly?

That the distance between the 2-year-old's artwork and Rembrandt is from here to the corner?

From here to Iowa?

Argentina? The rings of Saturn? The neutral zone between us and the Romulan Empire?

These are the sorts of things a man says right before they offer him the blindfold and the cigarette, and don't think Jim Irsay isn't leaning that way after watching his Indianapolis Colts -- Frank Reich's Colts -- drop a big steaming load in Jacksonville for the second time in eight-and-a-half months. This was supposed to be the turnaround game for the Horsies after that unappealing tie in Houston last week, and what happens?

Matt Ryan throws a pick into double coverage on the Colts first possession. Trevor Lawrence goes 7-for-7 and takes the Jaguars to the house on Jacksonville's first drive. A 24-0 Jaguars shutout ensues.

All sorts of nuggets got trotted out in the aftermath, like how it's still been eight years since the Colts won in J-ville, and how the Jaguars last three shutout wins have come against Indy. Also, the Horsies' high-priced spread of an O-line let Ryan get sacked five times and get hit another six, which contributed to Ryan's three-pick, 195-yard, 34.0 rating day.

Lawrence, meanwhile, was 25-of-30 for 235 yards and two scores. This was not merely a reflection of how helpless the Indy D was; it was also an indication that Lawrence is going to be a damn good NFL quarterback before it's all said and done. Write it down for easy mocking later if it doesn't happen.

The upshot of all this is these are not the palmy days in Equineville, especially with Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs coming in Sunday. Reich didn't help matters with his "distance" comment, nor by declaring postgame that "we're going to evaluate everything."

Astute observers immediately asked why they didn't do that during the offseason, and if not, what the hell they were doing otherwise in the eight months between the Jacksonville embarrassments. 

"I know, Mr. Blob!" you're saying now. "Telling us their receiving corps was peachy keen, and therefore they didn't need to wet a line in the free agent pond!"

Well, that's one thing.

"Overpaying their overrated offensive line?"

That's another.

"Fondly reminiscing about last Christmas Day, the last time they won a football game?"

That, too, no doubt.

In any event, the Colts are looking right down the barrel of 0-2-1, and Frank Reich -- and GM Chris Ballard, who put this mess together -- are looking at an all-expenses-paid trip to Pink Slip City. Maybe not this week, but it's coming.

After all, Irsay's patience was worn out in January, when he called a come-to-Jesus meeting with Reich and Ballard after the last Jacksonville loss. Changes were promised. Vows to never again get blown out by Jacksonville were voiced. And then ...

And then, for eight months, the Colts apparently changed nothing and honored no vows.

It's September now, see, and we're in the last swallows of summer. And the Colts are still getting blown out by Jacksonville.

The fall is coming. In more ways than one.