Today in misnomers

 (In which the Blob again strays from the Sportsball path. Standard disclaimer applies.)

These are the times that try a history nerd's soul, which is why I find it provident to keep firearms, sharpened steel and C4 away from him. There's too much chance he'll finally lose it entirely and go rampaging through the streets in search of  people who still think the Civil War was about soybean futures or some such thing.

Which brings us to Donald John "Legbreaker" Trump, Fearless Leader of our Regime and noted graduate of the Kollege of Historikal Knowledge.

See, today is May 8, the 80th anniversary of VE Day, or Victory in Europe Day. It's called Victory in Europe Day because, well, that's what it was. Fearless Leader, of course, begs to differ.

He says from here out, Americans are to refer to it as "World War II Victory Day", because calling it Victory in Europe Day gives Europe too much credit and America not enough. After all, he reasons, America won the war for those lame Euros, so why do they insist on calling Victory in Europe Day?

(Because, again, it was the end of the war in Europe. Just like VJ Day commemorates Victory over Japan. Because that's what that was, too.)

(And why am I having to explain this?)

Look. We all get it. Fearless Leader and logic do not pal around much, and his grasp on history is such that if he and history were recreating the scene in "Die Hard" where Hans Gruber falls from the Nakatomi Tower, he'd be falling just like Hans. His grasp is that bad.

For instance: When FL says those European dopes did next to nothing to win Big Two, it ignores the fact the Soviets crushed the life out of half Hitler's armies. And somewhere Bernard Montgomery likely would be saying "EXCUSE me?",  because it was Monty and the British Eighth Army who chased Rommel out of North Africa.

The RAF would likely chime in, too, having reduced Goering's Luftwaffe to a shadow of itself before the Americans arrived on the scene. Ditto the British troops who suffered through the bloody Gethsemane of the Italian campaign right alongside the Americans.

But Fearless Leader is gonna do what Fearless Leader is gonna do, and his feckless lapdogs in Congress will say "You got it, boss!" Which is why the Senate just voted to codify Donald John's decree that from now on the Gulf of Mexico shall be called the Gulf of America.

Even though it's not. Even though Donald John and his lackeys can codify 'til the cows come home and it will still be the Gulf of Mexico.

So, yeah, today is VE Day, no matter what Fearless Leader decides to call it. Bless your heart, Donald John. You go ahead and call it World II Victory Day -- even though it isn't, and even though you posted it on social media today over a photo of the flag raising on Iwo Jima.

Which of course doesn't have a damn thing to do with the German surrender this day commemorates. 

And which of course happened in February 1945, three months before and half a world away from the aforementioned.

Uh-oh. My history nerd just asked where I've stashed the Bowie knife.