They ran a motor race at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway yesterday, and, friends, it was nothing Ray Harroun would have recognized. Or Dario Resta or Dario Franchitti or ol' A.J. or ol' Mario, or any other 500 winners who came after ol' Ray.
None of them, see, ever put an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile in Victory Lane.
That happened yesterday, when a Wienermobile named Slaw Dog pulled a Sam Hornish, or perhaps a Sam Relish. Passed Chicago Dog for the win mere yards away from the yard of brick, just like Hornish/Relish passed Marco Andretti for the win in 2006. Well, sort of.
This happened not in the Big Five but the inaugural Wienie 500, in which Wienermobiles came from all over the country to vie for, I don't know, the Borg-Wiener Trophy or something. And, OK, so there were only six of them, and they only ran two laps. But, still.
Still, they circled the ancient old place at the blinding speed of 60 mph or so, and all sorts of high drama ensued. A Wienermobile named Sonora Dog looked like your winner after taking a big lead on the last lap, but it overheated in turn two and Chicago Dog assumed the lead with Slaw Dog in hot pursuit.
That set up the nail-biting finish. Or the dog-biting finish. Or, you know, something.
"But who was the winning driver, Mr. Blob?" you're asking now, pretending to be interested.
Well, that would be Dario Frank-Eatee, of course. Or perhaps Bun-dy Lazier.
OK. I'll stop now.
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