Derby time!

 ... in which the Blob forgoes its usual extolling of the Twin Spires ("Two of 'em!"), Kentucky colonels and women in Frank Lloyd Wright hats.

(Also mint juleps, which ain't nothin' but jumped-up Robitusson.)

(Also that one song by Dan Fogelberg, "Run for the Roses".)

No, this year I'm concerned with only one thing: The winner of tomorrow's 151st Derby.

Who, it says here, will be a handsome lad named Journalism, on account of his name's "Journalism" and he's the 7-2 favorite by the morning line.

Come on. You think a former sportswriter was gonna pick anyone else?

Of course he's not. I mean, I'm not.

Now, I suppose I could also put my precious two bucks down on Publisher, a 28-1 shot coming out of the 13 hole. Publisher's sire is Triple Crown winner American Pharoah, so he's got that going for him.

But, nah. I'm stickin' with Journalism, having never been a Publisher.

(You might be asking here why there are two horses in this field named for an industry we're constantly being taught to despise. First of all, Journalism, when done right, remains a noble profession that serves a vital purpose in any free society, which is why those out to dismantle free societies are so intent on us despising it. And Publishers are a vital cog, too, except when they're lily-livered suck-ups in thrall to the free-society-dismantlers.)

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah. Journalism. The Derby. Your odds-on favorite.

He's one smokin' hot horse coming to Churchill Downs, and I'm not saying that because his withers are perfect, to paraphrase Warren Zevon. I'm saying that because he comes to the Derby on a four-race winning streak, including both his starts this year. Also he drew the No. 8 post position, which has produced nine Derby winners, second only to the No. 10 position. Mage won from the No. 8 hole just two years ago.

Mage ... who was, um, a 15-1 underdog.

And here's where it gets a trifle sticky for my Derby pick.

The betting favorite, see, hasn't won the Derby since 2018. In the six Derbys since, the winner has been a 65-1 shot (Country House, 2019); an 8-1 pick (Authentic, 2020); a 26-1 pick (Mandoulin, 2021); an 80-1 shot (Rich Strike, 2022); Mage; and, last year, Mystik Dan, who went off at 18-1.

The favorite, Fierceness, finished 15th.

Needless to say, this is not a trend a man who wants to see when he's putting his hard-earned two simoleons on the favorite's nose.

Therefore, as a backup, I'm casting about for some gluepot poised to turn into Secretariat. Remember the name, Blobophiles: Flying Mohawk.

He comes out of gate 11 tomorrow, and he's carrying 33-1 odds right now. That's not what caught my eye, however. What caught my eye is his trainer.

Who is D. Whitworth Beckman, a properly aristocratic trainer name if ever there was one. D. Whitworth Beckman! You just knows he smokes a briar pipe, enjoys an after-dinner sherry and has a wardrobe over-served with tweed. And I'd bet long green right now the "D" stands for Declan or Dorian or Demetrius or some such thing.

(Annoying Accuracy Interlude: It doesn't. It stands for "David." Also, Beckman was born in Louisville, not Stratford-On-Avon, and everyone calls him "Whit". So much for that fantasy.)

Anyway ...

Anyway, if you're looking for a longshot pick, Flying Mohawk's your boy. Me, I'm stickin' with Journalism, despite any and all qualms.

In my scenario, Journalism nips Publisher by a nose at the wire. Call it a victory for the working stiffs over the oligarchs.

Speaking of fantasies.