A tight end at The U (Miami, Fla., for the uninitiated) is coming back this fall for his ninth* season as a college football player, and the Blob has questions, so many questions ...
(*Not a misprint. Apparently the tight end in question, Cam McCormick, had season-ending injuries four years in a row, and also was granted a COVID year, so, yeah. He still has another year of eligibility left, even though he was in the same high school recruiting class as Jalen Hurts and Nick Bosa.)
Anyway ...
On to the questions:
* Do the freshmen and sophomores on the team send him out to buy booze for them?
* How many times a day do they tell him "Dude, that's so 2019"?
* Does he belong to a fraternity, and is he now older than its charter?
* How many times has a teammate said "Cam McCormick! Hey, my dad played against you in high school!"?
* What's his proudest moment at The U.? Running out on the field for one last season, or getting his doctorate two years ago?
* Do all his fellow adjunct professors wear his jersey, sit together at games and chant "Cam, Cam, he's just like us! You should see his syllabus!"?
And last but not least ...
* When he finally leaves, will that one guy on campus who's changed his major ten times and is now a 30-year-old sophomore sneer and say "I knew he had no staying power"?
Inquiring minds want to know.
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