Sunday, January 28, 2024

And your Super Bowl will be ...

 ... a football team, and another football team!

OK. Enough seventh-grade boy jokes.

Just delaying who I actually think will be in Super Bowl Whatever Roman Numeral We're Up To, because it's conference championship day and as usual the heart is having a furious argument with the head. This happens every time I want to pick someone really badly, but I know I should pick someone else. Today the argument sounds kind of like this ...

Heart: OK, so I'm picking the Lions because they are a Team of Destiny. They are America's Sweetheart if America's Sweetheart was big and sweaty and liked to haul off and kick you in the nuts every so often. They're mean, they're focused, they carry the hopes and dreams of a city that's starving for a winner and thinks the Curse of Bobby Layne has gone on entirely too lo-

Head: You know Deebo Samuel is back, right?

You know it's going to be a perfect day in San Francisco today, not a monsoon like last week, right? Which means Brock Purdy will be a lot better than he was against the Packers, and Deebo and George Kittle and Christian McCaffrey will run unencumbered through the lush meadows and sunny glades of Levi's Stadium. You know this, right?

Heart: But the Lio-

Head: Yeah, yeah, we know all about the Lions and their heart and their soul and Jared Goff and their terrific young players, like Aidan Hutchinson and Jahmyr Gibbs and Sam La Porta. It's a sweet story. It is, in fact, the sweetest story to come down the pike in years. But it ends today because the 49ers have been the best team in the NFC all season and they're not going to stop being the best team in the NFC just because you, Mr. Heart, want to wax nostalgic about Alex Karras and Mel Farr and Lem Barney and Eric Hipple for the next two wee-

Heart: Hey, don't forget Billy Sims and Errol Mann and Megatron! And Greg Landry. Good ol' Greg Landry.

Head: Whatever. Bottom line, the Niners have the veterans and the Lions don't. In this situation, you go with them that's been there every time.

Heart: Hey, that sounds like a Taylor Swift lyr-

Head: Oh, no. No, no, no, NO. Tell me you're NOT picking the Chiefs in the rain in Baltimore today. Please tell me that.

Heart: Well ... you were the one who said you go with them that's been there. And who's been there more than Patrick Mahomes? Guy's never not played in an AFC championship game, not once in six years. Lamar Jackson, on the other hand, may be your hands-down league MVP, but he's never played in this game. And the rain might slow him down today. And, again, how many times do you make bank by betting against Mahomes?

Just ask Buffalo. 

Head: Hey, thinking critically is MY gig, buddy. Lay off.

Heart: Heh.

Head: Yeah, you laugh now. But you won't be laughing when the Ravens pass rush runs Mahomes all over Maryland. The Ravens pass rush vs. the Kansas City O-line is a baaaad matchup for Chiefs Kingdom. Didja see the way they ruined C.J. Stroud and a good Texans team in the second half last week?  Rolled over 'em like a big wheel. And this is Lamar's time, you can feel it.

Heart: "You can feel it"? Now who's stealing whose gig?

Head: Yeah, well. Enough jawing. I'm calling it Ravens 24, Chiefs 17, and San Francisco 34, Detroit 24. The two best teams in football prove it today.

Heart: And I'm saying Chiefs 24, Ravens 21, and Detroit 31, San Francisco 30. Can't bet against Mahomes, can't bet against destiny.

Aaand there you have it. Or not.

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