And now the final edition for this season of The NFL In So Many Words, the never-quit, play-to-the-final-second Blob feature of which critics have said "Jeebus! Quit already!", and also "Come on! You don't need one more! Put your substitute Blob in and call it a day!":
1. "Yay! We won our 12th game of the season!" (Lions fans)
2. "Crap! Why was our regular tight end playing in a meaningless game?" (Also Lions fans, after Sam LaPorta went out with a knee injury)
3. "You want me gone? Fine, I'm gone. But first, watch me lose to the Jets at home, you ungrateful turds!" (Bill Belichick, after the Patriots mustered just six first downs and 119 total yards in, yes, losing to the Jets at home)
4. "Hey, look, we done got us another quarterback!" (Packers fans, watching Jordan Love)
5. "Hey, look, we done got us another quarterback we're gonna give up on so we can draft yet another quarterback we'll give up on!" (Bears fans)
6. "And how come that never happens to the Packers, those lucky cheese-eating s***?" (Also Bears fan)
7. In other news the Eagles lost by 17 to the sad-sack Giants, their fifth loss in their last six games after starting the season 10-0.
8. "Well, at least we only have to watch these guys one more time." (Eagles fans anticipating the expected loss to the Buccaneers next week in their wild-card game)
9. This just in: Buccaneers 9, Panthers 0. On three field goals.
10. "Boy, you just can't beat NFL football for thrills and excitement!" (America, sarcastically)
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