Friday, December 29, 2023

Not dead yet

 Really, Joe Flacco is feeling much better.

Maybe you haven't been paying much attention, what with this being the holidays and all, but Joe Flacco quarterbacked the Cleveland Browns to another victory last night. Flacco, who is 88 years old and uses a wheelchair, threw three touchdown passes as the Brownies went to 11-5 and clinched the playoffs by whupping the eminently whup-able New York Jets, 37-20.

"Hey, wait a minute," you're saying now. "Joe Flacco's not 88 years old!"

OK, I lied. He's actually 68.

Oops, lied again. He's 58.

Darn it! Lied again!

No, really, he's actually only 38. But he was ou of football until the Browns snapped him up on November 20 after Deshaun Watson went down for the season.

All he's done since is lead the Browns to four wins in five starts, as Cleveland now has a four-game winning streak and has secured a postseason berth. In each of those four wins, Flacco has thrown for more than 300 yards and at least two touchdowns. He now has 13 touchdown passes in just five games.

Not bad for a guy in a wheelchair.

"Stop it!" you're saying.

OK, OK. He's not in a wheelchair. And he's not dead, either, which is what the Blob quipped on another platform when the Browns signed him. He really is feeling much better.

Better than the four teams that have lost to him, that is.

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