It's all the girl's fault

 Someday Taylor Swift will write a song about all this.

She'll write a song about how she fell in love with a football player, and then the football player started playing not was well as he used to, and then his TEAM lost to the RAIDERS, for God's sake, and everyone will BLAME THE GIRL.

The title of the song will be "Blame The Girl."

It will be quite bitter in tone, as Taylor's songs oftentimes tend to be. It will also talk about what shite-y creatures men are, another frequent Taylor theme.

This time, however, Taylor will be right.

Men are shite-y creatures sometimes. Also really stupid, even in areas where they're allegedly not stupid.

Seen the latest, after Raiders 20, Chiefs 14?

Two guys who used to play pro football, and another guy who claims to know a lot about it, were blaming the Chiefs' and Travis Kelce's recent struggles on Kelce's celebrity girlfriend, Taylor Swift.

A handful of wingnuts on social media, who hate Taylor anyway because, oh my God, she's encouraging her fans to register to vote (How un-American!), are chiming in with the same take -- i.e., TAYLOR SWIFT RUINS EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHES.

The three guys on TV, meanwhile, are Michael Irvin, Keyshawn Johnson and former sportswriter/current blowhard Skip Bayless. They were Taylor-bashing to a fare-thee-well after the Chiefs' Christmas Day loss, partly because they're misogynist jerks and partly because ... well, they're apparently not very bright.

Allow me to point out a few things to them:

1. Taylor Swift is not the one dropping passes out there.

2. Taylor Swift is not the one who left Patrick Mahomes with a bunch of remainder-bin wide receivers, which is why they keep dropping passes out there.

3. Taylor Swift is not the one double- and sometimes triple-teaming her boyfriend on virtually every snap, because he's the only reliable receiving option Mahomes has left.

4., 5. and 6. Taylor Swift is not the one who hired Matt Nagy as the Chiefs offensive coordinator when Eric Bienemy left; not the one who gave Mahomes an offensive line that can't block a sunbeam; not the one who made Mahomes throw that awful pick six on Christmas, and tried to force a few other off-brand throws because his wideouts simply couldn't get separation.

All of the above is why the Chiefs lost on Christmas. All of the above is why they're slumping, having lost five of their last eight games.

Look. When the Chiefs began their southward turn, I was the first one to make a Yoko Ono joke about Taylor Swift. But I wasn't serious. It was a joke. I didn't for a second believe she was the reason the Chiefs were falling apart, or that she'd become such a distraction the Chiefs didn't look like the Chiefs anymore.

(A word about distraction: It's the most nonsense word in sports. It's what teams and/or the people who cover them use as an excuse when they poop the bed. As if, in the Chiefs case, Marques Valdez-Scantling was thinking OMIGOD TRAVIS IS DATING TAYLOR SWIFT! right before he dropped a pass. Please.)

Truth is, football players have been dating/marrying celebrity squeezes for decades -- anyone remember Joe Namath steppin' out with Raquel Welch back in the '60s? -- without it having any visible effect on their performance. It's the height of silliness to seriously suggest otherwise.

Although ...

Although the camera did catch Mahomes saying "Call the f***in' play!" at one point the other day, apparently indirectly addressing his OC Nagy.

But Michael, Keyshawn and Skip know the real story, by golly.

Come on, Taylor. Get on the stick.