Welcome to the conundrum

 So, I guess this is the part where the Blob is expected to pick this weekend's NFL wild-card winners, but since I don't have any dogs in any of the hunts I don't much care who the winners will be.

But just for the heck of it, let's say the 49ers, the Chargers, the Bills and the Vikings. 

That leaves the Cowboys at the Buccaneers on Monday night. And welcome to the conundrum.

I don't want either team to win.

What I want is for a massive wormhole to open up and suck Dak Prescott and 87-year-old Tom Brady into an episode of "Star Trek" where Dak and Brady meet their teenage selves and offer words of wisdom.

"Don't listen to Jerry. He's so full of s*** he squeaks," Dak will say

"Don't listen to Gisele. Be as weird and narcissistic as you want, and keep playing until the rest home people come to take you back to your room because you've wandered off again," Brady will say.

See, I don't like the Cowboys, and I don't much like the Bucs. Mainly that's because whoever wins will mean either another week of Jerry spew or another week of how's-Tom-Brady-doing-this-at-45 spew. And frankly I'm sick to death of both.

Yes, I know, Brady's the GOAT and it's amazing he's still playing at an intermittently high level and don't bet against him, blah-blah-blah.

Yes, I know, Jerry's the king of owners, which is why the media always goes to him for postgame quotes even though the Cowboys have Dak and some other guys and a head coach whose name escapes me because the media's still talking to Jerry.

Charlie McCarthy, I think it is. Or Mike McCarthy. Something like that.

Thing is, I'm heartily weary of all of it. Just this week, I've heard yet more blather about why Dak can't win when it counts, and read another tidbit about Brady refusing to sit out a meaningless game last week because, well, he's TOM BRADY and no one's going to play a down at quarterback unless, he, TOM BRADY, is on a ventilator.

"OK, Tom." Bucs head coach/handpicked flunky Todd Bowles presumably said, meekly. "Please don't hit me no more."

I hope Brady runs out of gas in the second half because he didn't take a load off last week, and the Bucs lose 42-12.

Only that would mean the Cowboys win, and we get another week of Jerry.

Yeesh.