Tom Brady got all mad at the media the other day because they keep asking him what he's gonna do next, and he dropped a couple of f-bombs in basically saying he doesn't know what he's gonna do next.
This means he was either sick of the media asking (likely), or mad at himself because he really does have no idea what he's going to do next (possibly).
Rumors have him either retiring or going to Denver, Miami, Las Vegas, Carolina, San Francisco or wherever Sean Payton winds up. One social media guy even suggested Detroit as a possible desti-Brady-nation.
Well. As an old retired guy myself, I have a few suggestions should Rest Home Tom decide on the hang-it-up option:
1. Follow through on the conditional TV deal he allegedly has and make bazillions for saying stuff like "Ya know, this Patrick Mahomes guy is really good."
2. Throw himself full-tilt-boogie into organic farming so he can grow his own supply of all that weird crap he eats.
3. As a side hustle, launch his own diet plan:, Tom-O, which will be his answer to the Keto diet.
4. Create delicate figurines from the bones of his vanquished enemies.
5. Oh, wait. That was Conan the Barbarian.
6. Go to Bill Belichick's house, leave a bag of flaming poop on his front step and then ring the doorbell and run away laughing.
7. Speaking of pranks, walk down the street with an NFL official, bump into someone and have the official yell "Roughing the passer!" and throw a flag at the poor guy. Run away laughing.
8. Or ... call Peyton Manning's house, and when he answers say "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"
9. Sit in a rocking chair on his front porch all day and gripe about how much softer players are now compared to when he played.
And last but not least ...
10. Take up whittling.
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