The hell I say

 So I have these two miniature football figurines on my bookshelf, one of which is Patrick Mahomes of the Chiefs and the other of which  is Nick Bosa of the 49ers. And they're daring me to pick against them today.

"Bet against me at your peril!" Tiny Mahomes is saying.

"You can't seriously think Mr. Destiny, Brock Purdy, is going to lose NOW,, do you?" Tiny Bosa adds.

Well ...

Well, I dunno. Far be from me to argue with figurines, but I'm goin' with Cincinnati and Philadelphia today.

I'm goin' with the Bengals because Joe Burrow can't seem to lose right now, and somehow he never loses to Mahomes. And that's a healthy Mahomes we're talking about, not High-Ankle Sprain Mahomes, whom the Blob suspects is going to be a lot more hobbled than he and the Chiefs have let on this week.

And the Eagles?

I'm goin' with them because ... oh, hell, I don't know. Because they've been the best team in the NFC all season, unless it was the 49ers. Because they're home. Because I kinda feel about Jalen Hurts at this point the way I feel about Mahomes, which is that you don't want to ever bet against him.

"But you just bet against him," you're pointing out now.

Well ... yes. Let's say I'm conflicted.

Let's say I still like the 49ers a lot, especially with Christian McCaffrey. And I still think Mahomes -- a healthy Mahomes -- is the best quarterback in the game, and even if he's only 50 percent today you still don't want to turn your back on him.

I think Brock Purdy has proved he's not just some remainder-bin crud from Iowa State, but ye gods, that Philly pass rush. I think it's crazy there are people I know, smart people, who think the Chiefs are ripe to get blown out, but God help me I see how it could happen.

So, let's call it Bengals 28, Chiefs 17.

And let's call it Eagles 24, 49ers 21.

"The hell you say!" Tiny Mahomes just sneered.

"The hell you say!" Tiny Bosa just jeered.

And so the ridicule begins.