Monday, January 10, 2022

Horse pucky

 No, no, no, you ninnies. It was the Jacksonville FANS who were supposed to show up as clowns, not YOU.

But, you know, signals get crossed sometimes. And so the fans showed up in greasepaint on Clown Day, and then the 2-14 Jaguars, who were supposed to be the actual clowns in this scenario, played like a real gosh-darn football team ...

And, well: Jacksonville 26, Indianapolis 11. Wait, what?

Cue the calliope music. Throw in some "Yakety-Sax." Look, is that Carson Wentz, Darius Leonard and the Colts O-line all trying to squeeze into that little car?

Apparently so.

Apparently this was the most ridiculous, unfathomable loss in Colts' franchise history, except Joe Namath saves that day for the Horsies. Joe Namath beat the mighty Colts 16-7 in Super Bowl III, becoming perhaps the only player in history ever to make the Hall of Fame because of one game. Someone named Matt Snell ran for 121 yards against the scariest defense in football. Jimmy Orr might still be waving his hands in the end zone, wide open if only Earl Morrall had seen him. Et cetera, et cetera.

Yesterday?

Yesterday the only thing on the line for the 9-7 Colts was a playoff berth.

Yesterday all they had to do was beat the worst team in the NFL.

Yesterday, somehow, they were down 26-3 until a garbage-time touchdown that came while the Jags were all high-fiving one another.

Super Bowl III was shocking. This was just inexcusable.

The table was set for the Colts to cruise into the playoffs after starting 1-4, a remarkable achievement. All they had to do was beat a meh Raiders team at home, and then beat a Jaguars team that had been practicing their off-season golf swings for about a month. Hell, the Patriots whipped 'em 50-10 last week, and the Patriots were already in the playoffs.

So of course the Colts jacked around and lost to the Raiders, 23-20.

And then ... well, I'm not sure "jacked around" is a strong enough term for what they did yesterday.

If it wasn't a straight laydown it was the next thing to one, and thank God for the Pittsburgh Steelers. A few minutes after the Colts' took the walk of shame to the visitors locker room in J-ville, the Steelers finally got around to beating the Ravens in overtime. That officially knocked the Colts from the playoffs.

Which was only right, because these Colts didn't deserve to make the playoffs.

The last two weeks, and especially yesterday, demonstrated their unworthiness, and never mind their seven Pro Bowlers or the 8-2 mid-season run that resurrected their season. A team that came into the Raiders game having just beaten two playoff teams -- the Cardinals on the road, the Patriots at home -- gagged when it mattered most.

Chief gagger, or one of them, was Carson Wentz, the quarterback the Colts gambled could regain his form of four seasons ago once he was reunited with head coach Frank Reich. Unfortunately, in the two games that were biggest, Wentz came up small.

Against the Raiders, he threw for just 148 yards and one touchdown and had a passer rating of  86.6. Against Jacksonville, he threw for 185 yards and the one pointless touchdown, threw an interception and lost a fumble, and was sacked six times. His passer rating, in the biggest game of the season: 74.6.

Conversely, Trevor Lawrence, his opposite number Sunday, had a passer rating of 111.9. In a game that meant less than zero for the Jags.

This is not to put it all on Wentz, mind you. The Jaguars scored 26 points and averaged 5.5 yards per play against the uninterested Colts D. They were 7-of-15 on third down. 

The last time the Jaguars scored 26 points in a regular-season game?

October 25. Of 2020.

And, yes, the Colts had some 'rona issues and they had some injury issues, but everyone has 'rona issues and injury issues right now. Try again.

Try. 

Now there's a word that might have come in handy yesterday.

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