And now the last edition for this season of The NFL In So Many Words, the departing-for-now Blob feature of which critics have said "Well ... bye" like Curley Bill Brocius in "Tombstone," and also "Don't forget to close the door behind you when you leave. We're not heatin' the outdoors here, ya know!":
1. "Yay! We made the playoffs by losing to the Packers by three scores!" (The Bears)
2. "Yay! We get the Bears in the first round!" (The Saints)
3. "Yay! We made the playoffs for the first time in 18 years by beating the Steelers' backups!" (The Browns)
4. "Yay! We get the Browns in the first round!" (Ben Roethlisberger and the rest of the Steelers' starters)
5. "Yay! We made the playoffs by beating the worst team in football!" (The Colts)
6. "Now we get to go to Buffalo in the middle of January to play one of the hottest teams in the NFL!" (Also the Colts)
7. In other news, the Jets locked up Adam Gase's severance package with a loss to the cruddy New England Patriots.
8. "Yay!" (Adam Gase, probably)
9. "Yay! Unlike my cruddy former team, I get to keep playing next week against the cruddy Washington Football Team!" (Tom Brady)
10. "Hey! We won our division, ya know!" (The cruddy Washington Football Team)
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