Trade talk

Pop quiz for today, and, yes, I know it's early, and, yes, I know you didn't study, and, OK, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY, because you're starting to sound like a Republican lawmaker being asked to go through a metal detector.

In other words: STOP WHINING.

There. Better. Now, here's the pop quiz:

What are the chances someone will say "There were no losers in this trade" in the wake of the four-team deal that sent James Harden to the Nets, Victor Oladipo to the Rockets, Caris LeVert to the Pacers, and some other guys and a bunch of draft picks somewhere else?

A. Zero.

B. One hundred percent, because someone always says this.

C. One hundred percent if there were also buy-one-get-one-free garlic knots involved.

D. I SAID ZERO.

The correct answer is "E," Not a friggin' chance because no one can figure out four-team deals.

Which is the Blob's general position on these types of deals, because it doesn't have a mind uncluttered enough to sort out all the particulars. It's why I'm lousy at cards; I can never remember what's been played well enough to make the right play myself. So I always lose and then get invited back, because every card game needs its pigeon.

All I know about this deal is the headline stuff, which is Harden going to the Nets and Oladipo going to the Rockets and LeVert going to the Pacers. Plus the Rockets get three first-round picks from the Nets across the next six seasons, and Cleveland's first-round pick next year, and Cleveland's 2024 second-round pick.

Which to the Blob sounds like the Rockets made out like the crew from Oceans 11, and the  Pacers made out OK, too, because they got rid of a guy who didn't want to be there for a halfway-decent guard. The Nets, meanwhile ...

Well. They made out like the Nets.

Yeah, they got James Harden, but they sold the deed to the Ponderosa to get him. And what are they really getting?

Another guy who needs the ball. That's basically it.

This wouldn't be a problem if the Nets didn't already have Kyrie Irving, who needs the ball himself, and Kevin Durant, who kinda likes to have it in his hands sometimes, too. This is not likely to improve Kyrie's disposition in particular; he's already torqued at the Nets for hiring Steve Nash as their coach without consulting him first, and he and KD reportedly barely speak. Now you're gonna throw another nuclear Type A into the mix?

Whoa. The New York media's in for some fun times.

Of course, the Blob could be wrong. ("Stop the presses!" you're shouting). This could all work out, magically, and the Nets could emerge as the next Superfriends team and roll over the rest of the NBA (Even LeBron!) like a big wheel. And come June they'll be hoisting the Big Trophy, and we'll all be writing about how, somewhere, Billy "Whopper" Paultz and Bill Melchionni and John Williamson and a bunch of other legacy Nets are smiling.

Nah.