Tuesday, October 1, 2019

A few brief thoughts on the NFL Week 4

And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the boffo Blob feature of which critics have said "It's boffo!", and also "It's MUNDO boffo!", and also "I have no idea what 'boffo' means, but this is the boff-iest!":

1. Gardner Minshew is the most boffo Hero Backup ever!

2. ("Hey, what about us!" -- Assorted other Hero Backups, like Keenan Allen, Chase Daniel and the Great Two-Headed Hero Backup, Teddy-Taysom Bridgewater-Hill)

3. ("And me! Don't forget me!" -- Jacoby Brissette, Hero Backup Alumnus)

4. Meanwhile, Eddie Pineiro.

5. Just kicked a field goal out of Soldier Field, across Lakeshore Drive and into the space-time continuum, where it emerged in 1895 and SAVED FOOTBALL by inventing the forward pass and declaring "When a guy catches the football in the end zone, has both hands on it, has both feet down and/or takes a step before the ball, oh my God, moves or gets stripped, THE PLAY IS OVER AND IT'S A BLEEPING TOUCHDOWN."

6. (See: Lions, Chiefs, Sunday afternoon.)

7. "Wait, I can't do what?" (Vontaze Burfict)

8. "But I thoug--" (Also Vontaze Burfict)

9. It's Tuesday morning and the Bengals are still an emerging new favorite for the NFL's Boffo Awfulness title.

10. "Hey! Quit horning in on our boffo awfulness!" (The Dolphins)

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