Naming rights

And now the best of all brackets in this Season of Brackets, the most fun bracket, the bracket where a 16 can beat a 1 all hollow because it's all about subjective personal taste and not RPIs or MREs or SUVs.

It's Deadspin's 2019 Name of the Year bracket, ya'll!

In which we are assured that all 60 names therein are actual real names, although the Blob somewhat doubts it. I mean, Dijonnaise Norman is one thing, but General Booty? Please.

In any event, it's a strong field this year, with a whole lot of dangerous mid-majors lurking in the shadows. And that's even without the runaway best name in the NCAA Tournament, Admiral Schofield of Tennessee.

I'll see your General Booty and raise you an Admiral. Or something like that.

The Blob is not disposed to giving anyone a peek at how it's filled out its Name of the Year bracket, but it will do something almost as fun and as open to ridicule: It's going to pick out a handful of, um, handles, and match them to their imagined sport.

And so ...

Ionosphere Torres: New York City playground legend. Once won a bet by dunking over a bus while eating a ham sandwich.

Cash Kinghorn: Champion bullrider. Famous for his belt buckle, which is the size of a serving tray.

Kermit Sprinkles: Olympic figure skater. Famous for live boa constrictor boa.

Paisley Boney IV: America's Cup skipper. Best known for saying "We'll sink the bloody Aussies, and then it's off to the Hamptons for croquet and champagne!"

Alpha Omega Nickelberry III: Last man to beat Paisley Boney IV in croquet.

Cletorius Aretha Fry: Point guard for Clemson. Offspring of former Clemson star Potatus Fry, last seen as a character (really!) in Dan Jenkins' novel "You Gotta Play Hurt."

Truman Peyote: U.S. disc golf champ.

Surrender Nada: UFC welterweight contender. Son of failed UFC fighter Igot Nada.

Princehoward Barebecue Yee: Left fielder, Hiroshima Toyo Carp. Yankees, Cubs, Red Sox currently bidding for his services.

Ecclesiastical Denzel Washington: Goes by "E.D." Hall of Fame high school football coach, Millard Fillmore East High, Dirt Clod, Nebraska.

Harrison Treegoob: Golfer, Web.com tour.

Sureal Sparx: Center, Phoenix Mercury, WNBA.

Syndronica Redd: Wide receiver, Alabama Crimson Tide.

Corno Pronk: Tight end, Michigan Wolverines.

And last but not least ...

Storm Duck, Cory Phast Lane, Terry Tickhill Terrell: NASCAR truck series drivers. Of course.