Geography fail

So you were feeling pretty good about yourself, if you were Philadelphia Guy. The Eagles' Super Bowl win wasn't that long ago, after all. And then came the news that the biggest fish in the baseball free agency pond had picked ... the Phillies!

Someone -- and not just someone, but Bryce Freakin' Harper -- had actually chosen to come to Philadelphia. And, OK, so maybe it was because he'd signed an absurd 13-year, $330-million deal, but, still. It was enough to make Philly Guy weep tears of joy into his Pat's cheesesteak.

And then ...

And then came Bryce Harper's introductory news conference, when the ex-Washington National slipped up and said this: "We want to bring a title back to D.C."

Um ... what?

Granted it was simply a slip of the tongue, and understandable given that Harper had always been a Nat. But you could almost hear Philly Guy -- a lot of Philly Guys -- doing what Philly Guys tend to do, which is rant and rave and gnash their teeth over even the most innocent of perceived slights.

"Jesus! Thirteen (bleepin') years with this jamoke!" Philly Guy said, probably.

And also: "Thirteen years and he doesn't even know what (bleepin') city he's in!"

And also, of course: "(Bleep) you, Harper! We gotta put up with 13 years of this (bleep)? Go back to D.C., jackass!"

Of course, all this goes away the first time Harper launches one.

And comes back again when he doesn't deliver the title he promised to D.C. Er, Philadelphia.