Air currents

So I guess this is the new Deflategate, and Tom Brady wasn't even involved. No, the main actor this time was something much more formidable than a mere NFL quarterback, even the GOAT.

That actor would be the Indianapolis 500. And the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, pro forma denials notwithstanding.

In case you missed it, here's the skinny: It seems an environmental group called Balloons Blow decided to put up a billboard along 16th Street -- right in the Speedway's backyard, in other words -- decrying the balloon release that's been part of the race morning ritual since God was a boy. The billboard contained an image of a balloon juxtaposed with a photo of a bird chomping down on a balloon fragment, with this message: "BALLOONS POLLUTE AND KILL. #StopLitteringIMS BalloonsBlow.org."

As with much else in this realm, Balloons Blow's heart was in the right place even if its judgment wasn't. Which is to say, the billboard vanished almost as quickly as it went up. The Speedway was the prime suspect, even though IMS spokesman Alex Damron said no one from there called the billboard company and asked it to be taken down.

The Blob, in keeping with its nature, remains deeply suspicious of this. I know, it's my cross to bear.

In any case, call this another instance of well-meaning folk taking on deeply entrenched tradition, and coming out of it decorated with tire tracks. There are traditions you have an outside shot at challenging in Indiana -- even single-class high school basketball eventually went down -- but the Indianapolis 500 is not one of them.

Very simply, it's the biggest single-day sporting event in the world, and it's been going on every May since 1911. When Ray Harroun either did or didn't win the first one (no one will ever really know, scoring technology being what it was in those days), William Howard Taft was president. The Wright brothers were still a thing. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, who won the Medal of Honor at Gettysburg, was still alive, and so were a pile of other Civil War veterans.

A thing that old tends to collect tradition like sailing ships collect barnacles, and so now we have the field of 33, and Gentlemen, Start Your Engines, and the bottle of milk, and Back Home Again In Indiana. We also have the balloon release, hundreds of balloons going up the bright May sky from the infield to become part of every Indianapolis 500 montage you've ever seen.

So ... no. Sorry. The Balloons Blow folks have a legit point, but this wasn't the place to make it. You've got to pick your battles, and this was like Custer picking the Little Bighorn.

Which didn't last very long, either, if memory serves. Thus endeth the lesson.