Un-say-able lies

I love the Masters.

I love Rae's Creek and Amen Corner and the Cathedral of Pines, and A Tradition Unlike Any Other.

I love "patrons" instead of "spectators," and Rory trying to bust out a window in the Butler Cabin with an epically errant shot, and all those other epic gag jobs on the back nine on Sunday.

I love the fact "patrons" are not allowed to run on the golf course, as if everyone were back in elementary school and the principal was standing in the hallway at the end of the day, wearing his official Principal Glower. I love tinkle-y, saccharine piano music. I love Magnolia Lane. I love every precious, snooty tic about the place and the event.

In a twisted sort of way, it's all a bit endearing, this self-reverence Augusta National wears like a suit of armor during Masters week. Which brings us to today's Masters Tradition Unlike Any Other: The handing out to security of a list of words and phrases that will not be allowed to be uttered on the premises this week.

Anyone heard shouting one of the banned words/phrases will be escorted off the grounds, it's been reported. This may or may not be true. But since it's Augusta National, and the Masters, I'd lean heavily toward the former.

At any rate, one of the phrases on the list, also reportedly, is "Dilly Dilly!", the Bud Light ad line which apparently has become a thing. Again, this may or may not be true. The Blob (and Budweiser, clearly) sincerely hopes it's the former.

As for some other candidates for banishment, the Blob also has a few suggestions:

1. "You da man!"

2. "Get in the hole!"

3. "Noonan!"

4. "Cinderella Boy!"

5. "You'll get nothing and LIKE IT!"

6. (Any number of other phrases from "Caddyshack," including "I don't think the heavy stuff's gonna come down for awhile yet," "Want to make ten dollars the hard way?", "So I got that going for me," and "Pick up that blood!")

7. "Hey, Rory, what's your wife's name again?"

(See this.)

8. "HEY, MILDRED! IT'S TIGER! HE'S OVER HERE! LOOK, I CAN ALMOST TOUCH HIM!" (Shouted right in the middle of Tiger's backswing.)

9. "OUCH! THAT HURT!" (Shouted just after getting brained by Tiger's 5-iron.)

10. "HEY, MILDRED! I JUST GOT HIT BY TIGER WOODS! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?"