Saturday, April 7, 2018

A sport by any other lame

Far be it from the Blob to disrespect a legitimate sporting enterprise of any stripe, even ones the Blob does not fully understand, like Australian rules football and cricket.

(Because, seriously, does anyone outside the former British Empire really understand cricket? It's kinda like baseball, but not really. A game, or match, or epochal event, lasts longer than the Punic Wars. And it has an actual position actually called the "silly mid-off," which is why the Blob likes it even though it doesn't understand it.)

At any rate, the original point stands. The Blob would never think of not being properly respectful of any legitimate sport.

Which makes it perfectly OK to say mean things about mixed martial arts.

Mixed martial arts, which involves throwing some punches, tackling a guy and then rolling around the floor punching him in the head until he quits, has as its major ruling body the UFC. "UFC", for the uninitiated, is spelled "WWE." Or so it seems after this latest episode involving Conor McGregor, the sport's most saleable star and a man whose name, also for the uninitiated, apparently is spelled either "Rowdy Roddy Piper" or "The Iron Sheik."

Maybe you missed it while watching real sports, but the other day McGregor Rowdy Sheik pulled a stunt straight out of the pro wrestling villain's handbook. He attacked a bus.

Yes, somehow he gained access to the bowels of the Barclay Center in Brooklyn, where the latest UFC Whositmania (or whatever it's called) is happening. He picked up a hand dolly and chucked it through the window of a bus carrying Whositmania participants, injuring several. Apparently this had something to do with a disputed title, although maybe it just had something to do with McGregor Rowdy Sheik missing all the attention he got for fighting Floyd Mayweather.

Here's how you differentiate this from your standard WWE mayhem:

1. McGregor Rowdy Sheik used a hand dolly and not the WWE's preferred chuck-able items, folding chairs and card tables.

2. He was arrested and charged with three counts of misdemeanor assault and one charge of criminal mischief, and released on $50,000 bond.

3. There is no "3."

UFC chief Dana White professed to be appalled by the entire affair, labeling it the worst thing ever. In so doing, he sounded a lot like Vince McMahon.

Which suggests to the Blob that White will not wind up suspending McGregor Rowdy Sheik, or banning him, or anything of the kind.

No, sir. What he's more likely to do is sign him to another marquee fight as quickly as possible, the better to cash in on all the yummy bad-boy publicity.

After all, that's what Vince would do. Right?

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