And now the news, this fine morning, from the quadrant of the galaxy known as Could Happen -- because, as we all know, the glory of sports is that frequently Could Happen transforms itself, like a chrysalis to a magnificent butterfly, into Happened.
(No, the Blob has not been into the Sir James Beam this morning. I don't what happened with that sentence. It just kind of grabbed the steering wheel and shoved me out into the road, cackling madly).
Anyway ... here is what Happened in Could Happen over the weekend:
1. Jordan Spieth did this, proving he is not really mortal. Mortals cannot hit golf balls out of sand from a bunker that looks like a Great War trench at Verdun. Mortals would hit the golf ball straight into the side of the bunker. Then they would do it again. And again.
Then they would pick the damn thing up and just toss it onto the green.
2. Tim Tebow is getting promoted to high-A because the Mets stink, their players are either grumpy, hurt or trade bait, and, well, why not?
Sure, he's almost 30 and only batting .222 in low-A, and anyone with a speck of baseball sense knows he has zero chance of ever playing in the majors. But he's a relentlessly sunny presence, and the fans still love him, and Tebow Time! sounds a lot better than anything else going on in the Mets system right now.
Besides, if a 43-year-old guy can start in center field for a major-league team, who knows what Could Happen for Tebow?
3. A 43-year-old guy started in center field for the Marlins yesterday.
That would be Ichiro Suzuki, who is 43 years and 246 days old and, according to Elias Sports Bureau, the oldest person to start in center field for a major-league club since at least 1900. That's 117 years to you and me, kids! Why, the Wright Brothers hadn't even invented the 747 yet! Football was still Three Yards And A Cloud Of Dead Guys At The Bottom Of The Pile! Donald Trump was tweeting that The Future Is Coal!
Oh, wait. That was yesterday.