And now another episode of the Blob Answers The Great Questions Of The Universe, a largely failed experiment unless you're one of those people who, like Glorious Leader, believes everything you read as long as it says what you want it to say.
Today's question: What's wrong with the Cubs?
Other than, you know, their destiny will always be to raise your hopes and then dash them, World Series champions or not.
When last we looked, after all, they weren't behaving very champion-y. They were 19-19, 2 1/2 games behind the hated Cardinals and two games behind the Brewers, for pity's sake. Guys who weren't supposed to struggle at the plate -- Kyle Schwarber, Anthony Rizzo, Addison Russell and Ben Zobrist -- are struggling. Schwarber in particular looks completely lost in the leadoff hole. The defense is uncharacteristically un-defensive, and Jake Arrieta's stash of magic beans is apparently exhausted; he's gone from virtually unhittable to just another guy in the rotation.
So what's wrong with the Cubs?
Simple. They're hung over.
They're still feeling the effects of the social whirl that engulfed them after winning the World Series. It tends to be a bit intense and distracting no matter who you are, but if you haven't won the World Series in 108 years, that gets magnified by a factor of 50 or so. The business of baseball takes a backseat to the business of celebrity, and it takes awhile to reverse that seating arrangement.
That's what's going on now, in the Blob's humble opinion. It won't last forever. The Cubs are too good for that to happen. They'll find their mojo eventually. Heck, they might even still win the division.
But beyond that?
Smart money, and history, says they won't repeat. Look what happened to the Red Sox after they broke their own 86-year drought in 2004. It took them three years to win another Series.
On the other hand, then-Red Sox mastermind Theo Epstein no doubt remembers that. And filed it away for future reference.
So, you see? There's still hope.
Sorry. Poor choice of words.