Thursday, March 9, 2017

We don't need no stinking quarterbacks

When last we checked in on the Chicago Bears (Motto: We're Not The Cubs, So Who Cares?), everyone was still talking about 1985, Jay Cutler was still the Worst Human On Earth, and Jay Cutler was also A Terrible Quarterback We Need To Get Rid Of Immediately.

The last especially ignores who the Bears are and always have been, which is an apartment complex for mediocre quarterbacks. You're just not gonna get Peyton Manning or Tom Brady in Chicago, because that's not who Chicago is. Chicago is Jack Concannon.

Also Bobby Douglass. Also Gary Huff. Also Vince Evans, Jim Miller, Doug Flutie, Bob Avellini and the immortal Peter Tom Willis.

Also, yes, Jay Cutler.

Whom the Bears will reportedly jettison because they're about to sign free agent Mike Glennon to a three-year deal worth more than what Cutler was making. Cutler, the last time he was healthy, threw 21 touchdowns and 11 interceptions and completed 64.4 percent of his passes. That was in 2015, when the Bears went 6-10 and looked briefly like they might be getting almost ready to get close to turning some mythological corner.

Alas, then Cutler got hurt, and they went 3-13.

Now the Bears seem to be throwing in their lot, at least temporarily, with Glennon, who's played in all of eight games the last two years. In 21 professional games, he's thrown 30 touchdowns and 15 interceptions. Almost all of that happened in his first season in Tampa Bay.

After which Jameis Winston showed up, and Glennon went to the bench.

Now the Bears are apparently looking to hand him the reins, plus $15 million. They've also announced they'll troll the draft for quarterbacks.

Which makes the Blob not alone in thinking why they just don't stick it out with Cutler, who comes cheaper.

And, yes, I know why. It's because Cutler pouts a lot and throws too many interceptions and, you know, pouts a lot. It's a visceral thing, really, and like most visceral things it doesn't always stand up to close scrutiny.

Here's the deal: As much as Bears fans despise Cutler, he's still the best quarterback they've ever had, at least statistically. He's thrown for 32,487 yards and 208 touchdowns in his career. And, yes, he's also thrown 146 picks.

This still makes Concannon or Douglass or Avellini pale in comparison. It also makes Jim McMahon, the renegade QB of the '85 Bears, pale in comparison.

McMahon, after all, was even better at throwing picks than Cutler. But he had style. He had swagger. And he always seemed to come up with the big throw when the Bears were in dire straits -- which they often were precisely because McMahon had put them there  with some really bad throws.


Now it's on to Mike Glennon, apparently. Who's not, you know, Jay Cutler.

On the other hand, he could  turn out to be Peter Tom Willis. Even better, maybe.

Hope springs eternal.

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