And now a special college football version of that long-running Blob abomination, The NFL In So Many Words, of which critics are already saying "(Bleeping bleep), when is he going to STOP?" and "Who asked for this? I didn't ask for this. You didn't ask for this. Who asked for this??":
1. Overheard in South Bend: "Don't be silly. Of course we can still beat Army."
2. Overheard in South Bend, the sequel: "I don't know how you can call the season a failure when it could still end in a Belk Bowl berth."
3. Overheard in Iowa City: "OK, so explain it again. Why did we schedule the five-time FCS champs?"
4.Overheard in several Big Ten cities: "OK, explain it again. Why do we keep scheduling MAC schools?"
5. Speaking of MAC schools, Western Michigan is now 2-0 in the Big Ten. In other news, Purdue and Illinois have begun nervously wondering when they'll be relegated in favor of the Broncos.
6. Speaking of Purdue, the Boilermakers avoided losing in a big way, shutting out punchless Bye in front of the usual crowd at Ross-Ade Stadium. Which is to say, no one was there and they didn't make any noise.
7. T-shirt making its way around The Grove at Ole Miss: "We Beat Alabama 2 1/2 Years In A Row."
8. T-shirt making its way around Tuscaloosa: "We Beat Ole Miss Like A Dozen Egg Whites The Other Half."
9. Georgia gave Wisconsin fits. Ohio State made it tough for Tennessee. Oh, wait. Make that Georgia State and Ohio.
10. Overheard in South Bend, the sequel to the sequel: "So what's Coach Brey got coming back this year?"