Things you never want to say:
“I think there’s something in this closet. Let me open the door and see.”
“It’s not snowing THAT hard.”
“Come on, they can’t put stuff on the internet that isn’t true.”
And the relevant choice for today?
“Just hand ‘em the trophy now.”
Which is what you might be tempted to say after watching No. 1 Ohio State
ball-peen Virginia Tech 42-24 last night in Blacksburg, Va., a notoriously
difficult place for opponents to ball-peen the home team. The Buckeyes
were, well, frightening, racking up 360 rushing yards, 572 total yards and
averaging 10.2 yards per play against a Virginia Tech defense not notable
for surrendering meekly.
That the Buckeyes did it without some key pieces who’ll soon be back makes
you wonder if anyone, at any time, will come remotely close to hailing
distance of them. Available evidence certainly doesn’t suggest it.
Oh, granted, it looked briefly as if Urban Meyer’s legions might be vaguely
human, futzing around long enough in the first half for the Hokies to strap 17
straight points on ‘em and take a 17-14 lead into halftime. But it was a mere
trick of the light; come the second half, the Buckeyes overwhelmed Tech 28
7 and made it look like a mere leisure time activity.
And so this morning there were people saying, yes, hand Ohio State the
trophy, making the case that the hurdle the Buckeyes cleared by 18 points
might be the tallest they’ll see this season. The schedule certainly
lends itself to that opinion; the next four weeks include home-field
calisthenics against Hawaii and two MAC schools (Northern Illinois and
Western Michigan), and then a road trip to Indiana, which just gave up 47
points to Southern Illinois.
Then it’s Maryland ... a Penn State team that just got worked by Temple ...
Rutgers ... Minnesota ... Illinois. Finally, way off in the future on Nov. 21, the
big showdown comes with Michigan State. With the possible exception of
Minnesota, does anyone see anything but sweat-free double-digit Ws in any
Of course, college kids are college kids, which means that sometimes
Appalachian State will beat Michigan in the Big House. Notre Dame once
lost to Navy twice in a row. Stuff happens. It’s one of the many reasons
college football is better than the NFL, which these days is pretty much just a
vehicle for the mega-growth industry that is fantasy football.
And so, the Blob is not prepared to anoint the Buckeyes yet. ‘Cause, yeah,
stuff could happen.
Of course, that closet could be empty, too.