And now this week's installment of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature hailed by NASA as "proof that the basic building blocks of life as we know it exist on Mars" because "nothing about this would make sense to anyone but a Martian":
1. "Hey! Lateral that thing over here! I'm open!" (Eagles helmet to Jets wide receiver Brandon Marshall).
2. "Wow. The Colts are 0-3. I don't believe it." (Blue Nation with 12 minutes to play Sunday).
3. "Wow! The Colts are 1-2! I don't believe it!" (Blue Nation, 12 minutes later).
4. "Ouch! That hurts!" (Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger).
5. "Ouch! That hurts!" (Steeler Nation).
6. "Who's that playing quarterback for the Bengals?" (Normal America).
7. "That is NOT Andy Dalton. That is a cyborg dressed like Andy Dalton who's come to destroy our way of life, and also to mess with the Super Bowl by getting the Bengals in it." (Black Helicopter/Terrorist Camp/Donald Trump Is The Nation's Savior America).
8. "Cutler (bleeps)!" (Bears Nation before Cutler got hurt).
9. "Where's Cutler?" (Bears Nation after seeing Jimmy Clausen play).
And last but not least ...
10. "Ouch! That hurts!" (Chiefs Nation after Aaron Rodgers' five-touchdown night).