And now the triumphant return of the chronically disregarded Blob feature, The NFL In So Many Words (presented with the expressed written consent of the National Football League. Or, OK, not):
1. Marcus Mariota!
2. Is the greatest quarterback in NFL history!
3. This week!
4. It's 9:06 Tuesday morning and the Giants are still (helpfully) stopping the clock.
5. Still 9:06.
6. Still 9:06.
7. Timeout, Giants.
8. Hey, I know. Let's put Johnny Manziel in this flaming orange-and-brown getup and see how he does.
9. Hmm. OK, that didn't work.
And last but not least:
10. Timeout. Giants.