And now this week's installment of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature of which 12 of 14 Republican presidential candidates have said "War with Iran! Hells yeah!" and "Dammit, where'd all these Mexicans/Muslims come fro--"
Oops. My bad. That's the transcript from their last debate.
What they really said was "Are you gonna make fun of Johnny Manziel again?", to which the answer is, "Are you crazy? Did you see those two touchdown passes he threw?" And so ... onward:
1. Did you see those two touchdown passes Johnny Manziel threw?
2. Why, he's almost as good as ... Marcus Mariota!
3. Not the greatest quarterback in NFL history!
4. But still pretty good!
5. Meanwhile, Tony Romo.
6. Fell down. Broke something. Cowboys sad.
7. The Colts are 0-2. They can't run. Can't tackle. Can't block a stiff breeze, which is why Andrew Luck turns into Dr. Richard Kimble every time the ball is snapped. Stick a fork in 'em.
8. In other news, they're still in the AFC South.
9. Pull the fork back out.
And last but not least:
10. Jimmy Clausen for president!
10a. Er ... resident!