Wednesday, May 20, 2015

One last Top Ten list. Well-Krafted.

So Robert Kraft has come out with his hands up, leaving his quarterback to shoot it out alone with the G-men (for "Goodell"). Apparently the weather changed, or something. The truth about psi, and other fanciful tales, grew too inflated to be ignored.

Or maybe Kraft and the Patriots discovered that throwing lawyers at the NFL was a pointless exercise, given the way they seem to just bounce off the Shield.

In any case, the Pats dropped their appeal of the Deflategate sentence (though Tom Brady hasn't).  And so, in honor of David Letterman's final signoff tonight, the Blob has put together a Top Ten list to commemorate both occasions.

Call it, "Top Ten Reasons The Patriots Said 'OK, You Win'."

10. Tired of trying to come up with an answer for, "If none of you did anything wrong, how come you suspended the two locker room guys?"

9.  Bill Nye the Science Guy won't stop laughing.

8. Neither will Jenny Craig.

7. Weight-loss thing wouldn't fly (see "8").

6. Brady wouldn't lower the drawbridge and let the rest of us cross the moat around his McMansion, so screw him.

5. Colts won't stop snickering.

4. Two words: Testicle jokes.

3. Two more words: Bleeping Spygate.

2. Belichick threatened to smile if we didn't drop this.

And the No. 1 reason the Patriots said "OK, you win" ...

1. Letterman's killing us.    

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