It's a big day, what with the Derby, the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight, the dregs of the NFL Draft for all the Sheldon Coopers living in Mom's basement and the heating up of betting on the royal baby, which is officially overdue.
Thus, the Blob has decided to go small.
To sum up the day, we're dusting off our vaguely memorable NFL feature, In So Many Words. And so here, in so many words, is today:
1. Pacquiao: Better man. Floyd Mayweather Jr.: Better fighter.
2. Fight: Boring.
3. Hats. Horses. Spires. Horses. The world's grossest mixed drink.
5. "And with the 237th pick in the 2015 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select Floyd Mayweather Jr. ..."
6. Hey, look, horses.
7. "And with the 245th pick in the 2015 NFL Draft, the New York Jets select Dortmund to win, Materiality to place and International Star to show ..."
8. Man, that's a lot of horses.
9. "And with the 247th pick in the 2015 NFL Draft, the Oakland Raiders select 'William faints dead away in the delivery room' ..."
10. "... while Kate screams, 'Who let all these bloody horses in here?'"