The polls are closed and the votes tallied, and the runaway winner of a new Blob feature I just made up -- "Numbskull of the Week" -- is Jayden Daniels of the Washington Commanders. Also Jayden Daniels' numbskull attorney, Adam Kenner, who this week sent a cease-and-desist letter to Daniels' alma mater, LSU.
The letter warned LSU not to engage in "any further use, display, publication, promotion commercialization or other exploitation of Mr. Daniels' NIL in any manner or medium."
And why did Daniels' mouthpiece send that letter?
Because a new LSU player -- defensive back DJ Pickett -- is wearing Daniels' old No. 5.
You think I'm joking? I'm not joking.
"But ... but ..." you're saying.
I know. I know.
You're wondering, as is most of America, how assigning another player the number of a guy who's been gone from LSU for three years constitutes "promotion" of Daniels' Name, Image and Likeness. Or how it constitutes "commercialization." Or how it constitutes -- good Lord in heaven -- "exploitation."
Talk about stretching those boundaries of imagination in the old "Twilight Zone" intro.
Personally, I think DJ Pickett should hire an attorney and demand Daniels cease and desist exploiting his NIL. It would be equally laughable.
And, oh, how the internet trolls are laughing.
Best of the burns was delivered by the New York Mets, of all people. After beating the Washington Nationals 4-1 the other night, the official Mets social media account tweeted this: "Stopped at four out of respect for Jayden Daniels."
Boom!
And as for me?
Well, I'm just thinking of all the ways this numbskullery could boomerang on Daniels and Co. ...
Dear Mr. Kenner:
Please inform your client he must cease and desist wearing No. 5 or we will begin legal proceedings.
Signed,
The estate of Joe DiMaggio
(Also the estate of Paul Hornung)
(Also the estate of Brooks Robinson)
(Also Johnny Bench, George Brett, Albert Pujols, Jason Kidd, etc., etc.)
Boom again.
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