(Bleeping) rights!

 (In which the Blob again roams the jungles beyond Sportsball World. Hall passes will be issued for those who don't wish to endure the torture.)

So I see where Fearless Leader -- aka Donald John "Look! A Squirrel!" Trump; aka Still Our Only Available President -- is all honked off at our neighbor to the north again, on account of those stubborn Canucks won't just roll over and let America First punch it in the face with its American Fist. 

Bullies hate it when you stand up to them. Fact.

Thus, Donald John Fearless Leader is stomping around threatening again to make Canada the 51st state, and slapping a 50 percent tariff on Canadian goods, and all the while claiming it's Canada who's the bully here, not poor taken-advantage-of 'Merica.

This is a recurring theme for Donald John and his supplicants, so much so it's almost become reflexive. They play the victim card the way Doc Holliday used to play a pair of aces (one of which he kept up his sleeve, natch), and it makes a sane person laugh every time they do it. I mean, how on earth did the United States become the richest, most powerful nation on earth with all these Canadas and Denmarks and  Venezuelas continually ripping us off?

At any rate, Donald John's latest harebrained notion in this latest absurd beef is to rename Lake Ontario, christening it "Lake America." After all, if Ontario won't play ball with America, why should it get its own Great Lake?

Of course, sane persons understand that renaming Lake Ontario -- or any geographical feature -- would be meaningless to anyone but Donald John and his worshipful minions. They could call it Lake Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang for all anyone else cared; it would still be Lake Ontario to the rest of the world.

In other words, it's kinda like if I'd decided to rename Lake Huron, where my parents lived for 25 years, Lake Me. Everyone else (including my parents) would just roll their eyes and say, "Whatever."

So, yeah, the whole idea is as silly as most of Fearless Leader's ideas. But it would be amusing to see how Canada would retaliate.

I mean, how hilarious would it be to hear Canadian PM Mark Carney announce that, henceforth and forevermore, Lake Superior would be known as "Lake More Superior Than You Know Who"? Or "Lake Up Yours, Hosers"? Or "Lake Kick Save And A Beauty"?

And speaking of Canada's national sport ...

Wouldn't it be awesome to hear Carney announce the name change with the hockey player's eternal cry of defiance?

"F****** rights!" quoth the PM.

In a word.