Rebuttal

 Give our American lads this much: They made a bunch of headline writers change horses in mid-stream.

Presumably they had "Bloodbath At Bethpage" all ready to go, and then the Americans finally got on the stick. Or on their sticks, as the case may be.

Trailing the Europeans by seven points after the first two rounds of the Ryder Cup golf tournament, our lads mounted a stirring comeback in Sunday singles, winning six of the 12 matches to turn an embarrassing rout into ... well, not a win, but at least a less-embarrassing loss. Europe won 15-13, prompting the aforementioned headline writers to hop off the "Bloodbath At Bethpage" pony and go with something else.

"Better Luck Next Time At Bethpage," perhaps. "Yeah, But At Least Scottie Beat Rory At Bethpage," maybe. Or how about this: "Rebuttal At Bethpage."

This is a reference to the week our Fearless Leader had, which was the usual run of buffoonery and toy-throwing, only better. First F.L. got stuck on an escalator with the missus at the United Nations; then his teleprompter fritzed out. Then, as only he can, he cry-babied about it to the assembled Nations, as if it were their fault (It wasn't).

Then, to top it off, he launched into a braggy lecture about how the United States of America was the bestest country in the entire history of countries, and how it was all his doing, and how every other country was loser trash by comparison. Needless to say, it struck JUST the right tone for an address to representatives of a bunch of those other countries.

(A brief aside: So how does one get stuck on an escalator, anyway? If it stops, you just climb it like an ordinary set of stairs. Which makes me wonder if some irreverent flunky or Secret Service type was secretly thinking: "Ah, geez, Mr. President, quit whinin' and move your fat ass.")

(But that's just me.)

Anyway, after Fearless Leader showed the rest of the world what a bunch of douche nozzles we are, he hurried over to Bethpage Black, where America's most amazing 79-year-old golfer strode with solemn purpose to the first tee with Bryson DeChambeau. Huzzah, 'Merica!

DeChambeau and the rest of the 'Merican team proceeded to spend the next two days getting kicked around by those inferior Europeans.

Which is where the "Rebuttal At Bethpage" comes in.

Because just a few days before at the U.N., Fearless Leader essentially said this: "Your countries all suck."

"But not at golf," Rory and the Europeans might have responded, hoisting the Ryder Cup on American soil.

Boom.