Fixin' a flat

 Comes now the time of year when America says "Oh, yeah, NASCAR, is that still going on?" and all sorts of hand-wringing commences in the sport's corporate offices because DAMMIT WE'RE STILL HERE, and also FOOTBALL ISN'T EVERYTHING, YA KNOW.

Except it pretty much is, ya know.

Seen the TV numbers from the latest playoff race in Loudon, N.H.?

I don't have the exact figures, but lemme tell you, they ain't pretty. Apparently, like 12 people watched.  And nine of them thought they were dialing up the Bills game.

This has launched the almost annual discussion about what NASCAR can do to not disappear into the ether after Labor Day, followed by the almost annual inevitable conclusion: Not a hell of a lot. Facts are facts, and the fact is football is the 2,000-pound gorilla standing bestride Sportsball World like a Colossus holding a black hole that swallows everything else. 

Still, NASCAR tries. This time around, the bright idea gaining traction is to scrap the whole playoff system and go back to the Time Before when Matt Kenseth locked up the title by mid-September. In other words, do a complete reset and go back to a 36-race season decided by points instead of a 26-race regular season and a 10-race playoff.

Let me tell why that's doomed to fail, too.

It's because NASCAR's problem is simple, but it's also unfixable: Its season is too damned long. Absurdly long. In fact no other major American sport -- not even the NBA and NHL, whose seasons span entire epochs -- has a season as long as NASCAR's.

It begins with the Clash the first weekend in February, and ends in Phoenix the first weekend in November. That's nine months to you and me, kids. 

Nine months. Not even the director's cut of  "Heaven's Gate" was that long.

By contrast, the NBA's regular season runs from October to mid-April; ditto the NHL regular season. That's seven months and change. Last season, the playoffs for each began April 20 and April 19, respectively. They ended June 22nd and June 20th, respectively.

That's two months.

NASCAR?

Its playoffs last two-and-a-half months.

The solution, obviously, is for NASCAR to go on a serious diet. The Blob's suggestion is a 20-race regular season and a four (or five) race playoff. That's 24 or 25 races, and everyone's off the stage by Labor Day.

It's what IndyCar does, wisely, because for all its blockheaded legislatin' it understands  it's going to disappear like D.B. Sweeney as soon as football starts up. So it wraps up its season, crowns a champion and gets out of the way before that happens.

NASCAR needs to do that, too. But NASCAR is not going to do that because lopping 11 races off the schedule means lopping off all the revenue that comes with them, too. And even if the ratings do a swirly once college and pro football enter the room, less money across those 11 weeks still beats NO money every time.

So, basically, NASCAR is stuck.

Its season is way too long, and the suits running the sport -- most of whom we can assume are at least smarter than a bag of hammers -- undoubtedly know that. But economics are economics, and bidness is bidness.

You can't fix a flat if you're unwilling to change the tire. Home truth.