Geezer-cuffs

 Exciting news today from the world of boxing -- which used to be the World Of Boxing until MMA stole its capital letters, along with its fan base.

Mike Tyson is going to fight again!

Also, Floyd Mayweather!

"You mean, like, each other?" you're saying now.

Hell, yes, each other. Preliminary plans are in motion to have them fight an exhibition sometime next spring, with date and site to be determined. This despite the fact Tyson was the heavyweight champion when Tone Loc was a thing, and Mayweather was the middleweight champion -- the undefeated middleweight champion -- when Facebook, Twitter and TicToc were not yet a thing.

In other words ...

In other words, Tyson is now 59 years old, no longer Iron Mike but Iron Supplement Mike. And Floyd is 48, and no longer Money Mayweather but Barter System Mayweather.

"So who's on the undercard? Jim Braddock and Max Baer?" you're saying.

Not as far as we know.

"Also, how's this going to work? Tyson outweighs him by almost 70 pounds," you're saying.

Yes, but he also out-years him by a decade. So he's got that not going for him.

Besides, it's an exhibition. Nothing's on the line except bragging rights, and even those are slim pickings. It's not like there's a ton of demand for "I Beat Up A Senior Citizen" bumper stickers, after all.

"So who's gonna watch this thing?" you're saying now.

Beats me, although if there's a market for professional cornhole -- and there is -- there's probably a market for geezer-cuffs. Guys who can't get dates on Saturday nights, perhaps. Fans of Grit TV, the western movie channel. People who watch Turner Classic Movies all day, or scour YouTube for old-school roller derby. Hey, Myrtle, come 'ere. The San Francisco Bay Area Bombers are on!

Or ...

Or maybe, instead of pay-per-view, there'll be reverse pay-for-view.

You shell out 35 bucks or so, and HBO or whoever will block the feed. Pay up or they'll make you watch.

Works for me.