Throwback Series

 Alrighty, then: Yankees vs. Dodgers for the marbles.

It's a World Series that might have been ordered up by Carl Erskine -- and, who knows, maybe Carl did from whatever grand corner of heaven he now occupies. He'll be rooting for the clock to spin back to 1955, when the world was young and his Dodgers finally beat those goons from the Bronx. Maybe he'll call in Johnny Podres to pitch the final game, the way Johnny did in '55. Jackie will be there, and Duke, and Campy, and Pee Wee, and, oh, hell, all of them.

And the Dodgers will still be Dem Bums from Brooklyn.

Which of course isn't true anymore.

Of course, it's 2024 now, and Carl and most of the rest of 'em are gone. And the Los Angeles Dodgers are no longer underdogs, but the doggiest of over-dogs.

 They throw money around like confetti, just because they can. Their revenue stream could drown the Low Countries. They bought the best player in the game, Shohei Ohtani, for the GNP of Thailand, and rumor has it they'll buy Finland next because they heard there's an umlaut in Helsinki with a killer knuckle curve.

The Yankees, of course, can go dollar-sign-to-dollar-sign with 'em. Rumor has it they only own half of Belgium and a piece of Mozambique. Sold 'em both to get Juan Soto and Giancarlo Stanton to help Aaron Judge send baseballs into geosynchronous orbit.

In other words, this isn't just a throwback World Series. It's a Throw Back The Little Ones And Keep The Big Ones Series. It's a Money Talks And Small Markets Walk Series. A Pull The Car Around, K.C., And Hand The Keys To Detroit, My Driver, Series.

"OK, we get it," you're saying now. "The rich get richer, which is why the teevees love-love-love this matchup. It'll pull so many eyeballs they'll have to add six more cameras -- including a Drunk Cam for the poor schlub from Yonkers who gets nailed by one of Shohei's rockets. 'Whatta ya mean it was only one baseball?' the schlub will say. 'I saw three of 'em.'"

Well ... yeah. I get all that.

But I have to choose between High-Priced Spread and Higher-Priced Spread?

I choose the Dodgers, for two reasons.

One, they're not the (bleeping-bleep) Yankees.

Two, Carl Erskine was one of the finest gentlemen I ever had the pleasure of knowing.

So, go, Dodgers. For you, Carl.