Today is All Hallow's Eve, popularly known as Halloween, which means tonight tiny "Frozen" princesses and Spider-Men will be coming to extort candy from law-abiding citizens like yourselves.
Naw, I'm kidding. I love Halloween. Love the kids. Love handing out the candy so long as the little goobers don't take it all.
(In my day, it was apples, popcorn balls and Milky Ways the size of Lincoln Logs. Of course, Mom always made us eighty-six the apples and popcorn balls on account of that silly urban legend about psychos hiding razor blades in them. Ticked me right off.)
Anyway ...
Anyway, this being a night for fright, it occurred to me that in Sportsball World there are plenty of things scarier than ghosts, goblins and Donald Trump masks. And seeing how I have way too much time on my hands, I started thinking of what those might be.
Here's what I came up with:
* Aaron Rodgers showing up at former Jets head coach Robert Saleh's door dressed as Aaron Rodgers. Trick or treat, mother(bleeper)!
* A kid in a Washington Commanders jersey showing up at the Chicago Bears complex with video of Jayden Daniels' Hail Mary on continuous playback.
* A kid in a Freddie Freeman jersey showing up at the New York Yankees complex with video of last night's fifth inning on continuous playback.
* Six tiny Caitlin Clarks showing up at Angel Reese's door.
* Six tiny Angel Reeses showing up at Caitlin Clark's door.
* A miniature trans athlete showing up at the door of any number of fear-mongering politicians.
* A kid dressed as the transfer portal showing up at the door of any number of college football and basketball coaches.
And last but not least ...
* A couple of tykes dressed as the Kelce brothers, and another dressed as Patrick Mahomes, demanding you buy more Reese's Puffs and Subway and State Farm and T-Mobile and ...
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