Orange horror, Part Deux

 So remember last week, when the Blob instructed all you eager fresh-faced learners out there ("Eager fresh-faced what?" you're saying) about the bad juju that comes with ill-conceived color schemes?

That was in response to the Cincinnati Bengals rolling out head-to-toe screaming orange for their season opener, then proceeding to lose at home to the expected-to-be-blech New England Patriots. The obvious lesson is when you dress not for success but to sear people's retinas, the football gods gonna come slap you around.

Fast forward to last night, when the Chicago Bears opted to go all-orange themselves in Houston against the Texans.

It wasn't quite as in-your-face as the Bengals a week ago, but somewhere in the Great Beyond it no doubt made the restless spirit of George Halas throw things and snarl "We look like a bunch of god**** clowns." This turned out to be especially true of Chicago's offensive line, which played like the Seven Blocks Of Sunkist as the Texans rinsed the Clockwork Orange Bears 19-13.

The O-line's job was to protect rookie quarterback/valuable acquisition Caleb Williams, and it protected him the way a screen door protects you from a hot summer breeze. While Williams generally was much sharper than last week in getting the ball out of his hand, he still got sacked seven times. 

Of course, the kid also threw two picks when he remained upright, and averaged just 4.7 yards per attempt on 23-of-37 passes. That added up to 174 yards -- better than last week's anemic 96 yards and sub-50 percent completion rate, but not by much.

In other words: The education of Caleb Williams continues.

In further other words: But nor for long if the O-line continues to specialize in the Lookout Block (as in, "Look out, Caleb!").

Also, the orange horror has to go. I realize alternate unis are yet another hefty money grab for NFL teams, but sometimes practical considerations must outweigh the impulse to vacuum up every stray dollar on the sidewalk. And this is one of those times.

Bad juju, all that orange. Tellin' ya.