Boiler down

 Welp. Notre Dame covered, at least.

Favored by 10, won by 59. A little dicey there, at least until they played the national anthem. 

After that, it was ... hell, I don't know what it was. What can you say, really, about Notre Dame 66, Purdue 7?

Maybe this: It's Sunday morning, and Notre Dame just scored again.

Maybe this: It's Sunday morning, and Purdue just missed another tackle.

Or maybe this: It's Sunday morning, and Angelo Bertelli is now playing quarterback for Notre Dame.

What the heck, everyone else had played quarterback by the time the clock mercifully ran out in Ross-Ade Stadium yesterday. I say "by the time the clock ran out" rather than "by the time the game ended," because the game had already ended a couple of hours before.

It ended the first time Jeremiyah Love broke a tackle and the first time Jadarian Price broke a tackle and the first time, I don't know, Ara Parseghian broke a tackle. It ended when Riley Leonard -- Riley Leonard! -- ran around end and juked -- juked! -- Dillon Thieneman to the ground and broke a tackle and finally stiff-armed -- stiff-armed! -- one last Boilermaker on the way to Six City.

By that time it was 21-0, and halftime was still a ways off. Later, Leonard would break a couple more tackles and run for another score, and Purdue quarterback Hudson Card, running for his life, would try to throw a pass with his left hand and Irish defender Boubacar Traore would walk in with the easiest pick-six in human history.

Then Price slalomed 70 yards through a collection of turnstiles, and it was 42-0 and over. That happened at the tail end of the first half, when the Irish were only trying to run out the clock.  And the Purdues still couldn't tackle 'em.

Anyway, after that, Leonard, who ran for 100 yards and three scores and threw for 112 yards in the first half, sat down for good. Steve Angeli came on to throw two touchdown passes, and then Kenny Minchey came on to run for another score, and then Bertelli, er, C.J. Carr came on to finish the game.

It was the biggest blowout in the 88 meetings of this quasi-rivalry, which goes back to the last months of the second Grover Cleveland administration (1896). It was also the worst loss, period, in the history of Purdue football, which goes back to the middle of the first Cleveland administration (1887). 

So perhaps yesterday was A Tribute to Grover Cleveland Day in West Lafayette, and Purdue just didn't tell anyone. Or perhaps it just the zeitgeist of a day when Tennessee played with its food, leading poor Kent State 65-0 at halftime on the way to a 71-0 win, and The U mauled defenseless Ball State in Miami, 62-0.

Two MAC schools, a combined 133-0 loss. Karma for fellow MAC school Northern Illinois having the temerity to knock off Notre Dame last week? Could be.

Other than that, I'm fresh out of explanations, and so are you. How Purdue can wallop Indiana State 49-0, have two weeks to rest up/prepare and then absolutely fail to show up for a game that's supposed to mean something to it defies comprehension. It also won't quell any suspicions among the Boiler Up crowd (who, like every fan base, is always ready to suspect the worst) that Ryan Walters might be Danny Hope 2.0, or even Darrell Hazell 2.0.

And Notre Dame?

Well, the "Bench Riley Leonard!" cries are apt to get a bit softer, although maybe not. Also, the internet dopes floating the Urban Meyer-for-Marcus Freeman speculation might stifle themselves for the moment.

Or maybe not.

In any case, Leonard, Freeman and Notre Dame have one week to blow raspberries and say "Neener-neener-neener, told ya we were good." Because next Saturday another MAC school, Miami (O.), comes into South Bend.

Buckle up.

(And you Boilermakers, make a tackle. Come on, you can do it. The Blob has faith in you.)