Monday, September 16, 2024

Another stupid analogy

 The Indianapolis Colts went up to Green Bay yesterday and managed to cough out 10 entire points, which meant Packers backup quarterback Malik Willis, signed like an hour before gametime or something, only had to cough out 16 to get the W in Lambeau Field.

The good news is the Colts defense allowed only 16 points, and quasi-rookie quarterback Anthony Richardson (come on, he is a quasi-rookie) actually completed 50 percent of his 34 passes for 204 yards, which was better than last week against the Texans.

The bad news was the Colts defense also got paved like an interstate highway by the Packers run game, which gashed its front seven for 261 yards on a staggering 53 attempts, right at five yards a carry. This means it generally took the Packers just two handoffs to either move the sticks or put them right on the doorstep of moving the sticks.

Which likely explains why they were successful on third down 10 times in 17 tries. Third-and-short does make life easier on NFL Sundays.

And Richardson?

The bad news is he completed just 50 percent of his passes in a league whose rules so favor the offense even the journey-est of journeymen routinely complete 60 percent of their throws. AR, with his skill set, is anything but a journeyman, and his arm is a bazooka. Unfortunately, right now it's a bazooka all the damn time.

Which means he can uncork the 65-yard-on-a-dime throw that makes you grab your head in amazement, but then makes you grab your head in dismay by missing the open 10-yard slant. He also occasionally thinks, like Uncle Rico, that he can throw a football over those mountains -- or, in this case, right through mail slots and louvered windows.

This means he  makes really bad decisions with the football on occasion.

Which in the NFL tends to lead to interceptions, like the three he threw yesterday.

The Blob last week noted all this, and also noted AR's ability to tuck it and run over people because he's bigger, faster and more athletic than the people he runs over. This led me to compare him to Bobby Douglass from the late-'60s Bears -- who also had an ungovernable bazooka for an arm, and who was also big and strong occasionally ran over people.

Anthony Richardson, I concluded, was Bobby Douglass 2.0. right now. Kinda like Robert Patrick was Arnold 2.0 in the second "Terminator" flick.

"What a stupid analogy!" you're saying now.

Maybe so. But it's what I've got right now.

What the Colts have got, right now, is an 0-2 start and a dazzling physical specimen who's yet to become a dazzling quarterback. And of course the Blob's possibly harebrained analogy.

In other words: Stay tuned.

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