What th-?

 I am no young pup anymore ("No s***, Sherlock," you're saying), and so I am prone to non-young pup episodes. And by "non-young pup episodes," I mean, "Geezer/codger sitting in a rocking chair waving his cane in the air and complaining that the world's gone to blazes because you can't get a good (insert timeworn item here)."

So maybe you'll understand if I do a little cane-waving this morning.

What triggered it was an item I saw on the Magic Twitter Thingy last night, which noted that NBC has announced it will air the Indianapolis 500 on the USA Network tomorrow if the Spectacle gets washed out today.

"What th-?" I yelped.

And waved my cane. And began to rock furiously back and forth to keep time with my rant.

Went something like this: How the hell do you dump the Indianapolis 500 on the USA Network? This isn't the WWE (a USA staple). It's not Barmageddon or NCIS or the entire Law & Order family of programs (more USA staples). It's the freaking Indianapolis 500! What on God's green earth does NBC have on the front burner that could possibly be more important than the BIGGEST SINGLE-DAY SPORTING EVENT ON THE PLANET?

"Well, it's Memorial Day," you're saying now. "Maybe they'll run some sort Memorial-y special. Dig deep into the archives and present a 'Combat!' marathon. Steal 'Band of Brothers' from HBO and air that. Or how about 'Sands of Iwo Jima'? Can't go wrong there."

Ah, phooey, I say. It's the Indy 500. I know lots of people claim it's not as big as it used be (although they can never explain how it still draws 300,000-some people every year).  I know it's a cable TV/live stream world now. But simple propriety dictates certain events should still be reserved for the network feed, and, dammit, the 500 is one of them.

(Also, dammit, while we're at it, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway needs to bag its silly local TV blackout once and for all. It's as out of fashion as bobby sox and poodle skirts, for one thing, an anachronism belonging to a time when TV was in its infancy and there weren't a gazillion ways to watch the broadcast. And yet even though there are a gazillion ways to do that now, 300,000 paying customers still show up in person every year. Continuing to black it out, therefore, is nothing but aggravated money-grubbing. In the first degree.)

Where was I again?

Oh, yeah. Simple propriety. What happened to it?

And where's my cane?

I want to wave it again.