The Blight of the Century

And now for something completely different, as Monty Python used to say. Or maybe just weird or stupid or some combination of both.

Which is to say, it's time to look in on the Fight of the Century coming up in July between an old man and some YouTube guy who has built a boxing career, sort of, by fighting has-beens and athletes from other sports.

Yes, it's Jake Paul against 58-year-old Mike Tyson, and, OK, so it's not the Fight of the Century. It's more like the Blight of the Century -- and if you want to call it, it's OK by me.

Tyson, however, would prefer you not. It seems he's touchy about that sort of thing.

According to Deadspin, see, last week some local radio producer in Arlington, Texas (where the fight will take place) asked Paul at a presser when he was going to fight a real fight and not "gimmick fights," and Paul said something like "Wow, did you just call Mike Tyson a gimmick?", and then Tyson got up and expressed his displeasure with Radio Dude.

"What did you call me, sir?" he said. "What did you call me?"

He called you a gimmick, Mike. And let the Blob be perfectly clear: No, you are not a gimmick. Not, you hear that? Now please don't hit me.

On the other hand ...

On the other hand, this fight kinda is a gimmick.

It's kinda like the tennis Battle of the Sexes between Billie Jean King and another old man, this one a huckster named Bobby Riggs. At least, it would be kinda like that, had Billie Jean King not been the best women's tennis player in the world and instead been, say, Bobby Jo Fleenor from the Foot Fault Tennis Club in Hoboken, N.J.

Billie Jean beat Old Man Bobby in straight sets in the Battle of the Sexes, which was every bit the gilded circus the hype leading up to it ensured it would be. I have no idea what sort of circus we'll see come July, but if Bobby Jo Fleenor Paul and Iron Supplement Mike Tyson arrive in the ring via flying trapeze, I won't be the least  bit surprised.

As to the fight itself, a lot of old schoolers seem to think Tyson will grate Paul like a wedge of smoked gouda. I'm not convinced of that. Paul, after all, is 31 years younger than Iron Supplement Mike. Which means if he can stay upright through the first three rounds or so, his chances of winning will rise exponentially. 

He won't out-punch Tyson, in other words. He won't out-fight him. He'll just out-youth him. Instead of the Thrilla in Manila, it'll be Arthritis in Arlington.

Or maybe Paging Medicare Plan B.

Coming soon to a YouTube channel near you.