The Ineptitude Bowl

 The NFL season is down to crumbs and final swallows, and so it's the proper time at last to look in on what is annually one of the league's fiercest struggles.

Let's play Which Franchise Is The Biggest Dumpster Fire/Superfund Site, boys and girls!

"I know, I know!" you're saying. "Jacksonville!"

No, the Jaguars got rid of Urban Meyer last year. This year, not coincidentally, they're tied for the division lead and closing in on a playoff berth.

"The Lions, then!"

Nope. Last week's flameout against Carolina notwithstanding, the Kitties have won six of their last eight games and sit second in the division.

The correct answer is either Indianapolis or Denver, and it's one hell of a donnybrook right now. Rarely have two franchises pooped themselves so spectacularly, and with such complete and utter shamelessness.

Let's go to the tape, shall we?

In one corner, we've got Your Colts, who were supposed to be a favorite to win their division and maybe make some noise in the playoffs this year after signing Falcons veteran Matt Ryan to man the helm. 

But Ryan wound up using a fake ID to get on board, one that said he was 37 years old and not, I don't know, maybe 65. So they benched Ryan for Sam Ehlinger, and then they benched Ehlinger for Ryan, and then they benched Ryan again for Nick Foles, patiently waiting in the back of the closet like that '70s leisure suit you forgot you had.

Along the way, they fired head coach Frank Reich after the Colts stumbled to a 3-5-1 start. Then they elevated defensive coordinator Gus Bradley, a former head coach, to be the interim head coach for the remainder of the season.

No, of course they didn't do that!

Instead, owner Jim Irsay summoned Colts icon Jeff Saturday from behind his analyst's desk to coach the team for the rest of the season, even though Saturday had zero experience except as a high school coach. He's now 1-5, and the Colts are 4-10-1 with no viable quarterback, no premier receiver and a high-priced offensive line that can't block a sunbeam. 

Bonus points: Irsay recently said in an interview he's probably going to hang onto GM Chris Ballard, who put this mess together.

"Hey, what about us!" Denver is saying now. "What are we, chopped liver?"

Why, yes, Broncos. That's exactly what you are!

Their story starts with Nathaniel Hackett, the quarterbacks coach from Green Bay the Broncos brought in as head coach thinking he might lure Aaron Rodgers west. Turns out Rodgers was just playing mind games by hinting he'd leave; he wound up not leaving.

But no matter. Because you know what the Broncos did next?

They went out and get Russell Wilson.

Folks immediately started chattering excitedly about the quarterback battles they'd see in the AFC West among Wilson, Patrick Mahomes, Justin Herbert and Derek Carr. Except ...

Except, it turned out Nathaniel Hackett couldn't coach his way out of a paper bag. And Russell Wilson inexplicably turned into Mr. Wilson, Dennis the Menace's neighbor. The Broncos lost a bunch of games; Russ was terrible and losing the locker room; and Hackett consistently displayed the clock-management skills of Homer Simpson.

The topper to all this was the Broncos owners waited until there were just two games left in the season to fire Hackett. What the point of doing it now is anyone's guess. The Denvers are 4-11 and have been playing out the string for weeks. Players are getting suspended for fighting, probably out of boredom. And CEO Greg Penner has thrown  GM George Paton under the bus, saying whoever the new coach will be will answer directly to him, not to Paton.

This is not just a train wreck, in other words. It's a train/plane/automobile wreck.

So who wins the Inteptitude Bowl?

The Blob says it's the Broncos on a last-second field goal. Because they had Russell Wilson and still managed to have the worst offense in the league, and the Colts only had an over-the-hill Matt Ryan.

Who do you like?