And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the ageless Blob feature of which critics have said "Meh, it's lost a step", and also "Just wait 'til this geezer faces a Blob that can still climb a flight of stairs without assistance!":
1. "Hey, Rest Home Tom! Whatcha gonna do NOW?" (The New Orleans Saints, up 16-3 on Tom Brady and Buccaneers with four minutes to play)
2. "Wha--??" (The Saints, after Brady engineers two scoring drives in the last 3:03 to pull out a 17-16 win)
3. "Lookit us! We got us a nine-point lead! We got this young dude, Justin Fields, running and throwing and looking, you know, young! WHO OWNS WHOM NOW, REST HOME AARON??" (The Chicago Bears, leading Aaron Rodgers and the Packers 19-10 going into the fourth quarter)
4. "Wha--??" (The Bears, after Rodgers and the Packers score 18 points in the fourth quarter to win again, 28-19)
5. "Here, maybe this will help." (Brady and Rodgers, handing out assisted living business cards to the Saints and Bears)
6. Meanwhile, the Bills cruise, L.A. goes 0-2, and Joe Burrow beats Patrick Mahomes again.
7. "Joe Burrow is the greatest Bengals quarterback in history! Better than Greg Cook, even!" (Bengals fans)
8. "Oh, sure, forget about me again. What am I, chopped liver?" (Ken Anderson)
9. It's Tuesday morning and Cleveland Browns quarterback/perv Deshaun Watson still hasn't produced a touchdown, not even against the cruddy Houston Texans, who still managed to lose 27-14 because, well, that's what cruddy does.
10. "Ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!" (Everyone in America outside Cleveland, gleefully reveling in the Perv's struggles)
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