QB roulette

 So I see the Indianapolis Colts have decided to haul Nick Foles from the back of the closet and start him Monday night, and I say, oh, why not. The season is gone. Jeff Saturday is playing out the string on whatever this has been. And Jonathan Taylor is on the shelf until next year.

Nick Foles?

Hell, why not Nick Nolte?

Nic Cage. Nick Offerman. The mortal remains of Czar Nicholas II. 

Actually, if you're going to play quarterback roulette, why not make it interesting for the fans and open it up to your season ticketholders? Have a drawing. Dump your season ticketholder list into a big rotating drum painted blue and white, and let Blue the Colts mascot do the honors.

First six names Blue pulls get to play one down at quarterback against the Chargers on Monday night. Valuable prizes to anyone who doesn't get sacked on his or her play.

"Oh, that's just silly," you're saying now.

Well of course it is. That's the point.

See, this season zoomed past silly some time ago, so we might as well just go Full Nuclear on the silly. How much sillier can it get than being outscored 33-0 in the fourth quarter against the Cowboys? Or, against the Vikings, setting an NFL record for biggest alltime gag?

Look, if you're gonna go from a 36-7 lead late in the third quarter to a 39-36 loss in overtime, you've pretty much worn out silly. That was the ugly Christmas sweater of losses, is what it was.  With fake antlers and a fake red nose.

So, sure. Put Buddy Bill or Myrtle Jane out there. Make 'em sign a waiver to take care of the lawyer stuff. Let 'em live out their childhood dreams, or at least have a great story to tell their grandkids.

"But, Mr. Blob," you're saying now. "What about Nick Foles?"

Ah, he can play the rest of the time. It's not like it matters at this this point, and besides, he's earned it. The man's been sitting all season watching the Colts spin the wheel from Matt Ryan to Sam Ehlinger to Matt Ryan again, after all. Must have felt like being an audience member on "The Price Is Right" who doesn't get picked as a contestant.

Well, now's chance. Spin that wheel, baby.

"But Mr. Blob," you're saying. "What happens if he plays really well? Won't that make the Colts look even sillier for not giving him a shot all season?"

Of course it will. Again, that's the point.

Why mess with a theme now?